


Maybe, Maybe, Possibly

by eeneplz



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Dimension Travel, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-05 06:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeneplz/pseuds/eeneplz
Summary: A pig and grayscale man walk into the bar, they both leave cause the grayscale one can't admit some things.Peter Benjamin Parker is left scared and confused when he is forced to face his feelings. While Peter Porker is patient, he still pushed Noir to come forward about how he truly feels. This may take awhile.A slowburn Ham/Noir fic with HamNoir as the end game. Yes I know this is a weird ship, no...I don't care, yes I'm going to finish this story, no I'm not sorry.





	1. Rough Start

“I missed you.” 

Those three words are all it took for Peter Porker to realize that maybe, just maybe, the tall, dark, and handsome man was more than just friend material to Porker. Maybe he had a crush, no big deal, no big deal at all.

Okay maybe it was a big deal. Peter Benjamin Parker was a man of his time, tall and brooding, the strong silent type, the type that was from the 30’s where a gay man was as good as dead. So maybe, just maybe, it was a big deal, a romantic oversight in Porkers eyes. Porker was well aware of all the reasons they weren’t meant to be, no need to remind him, he stewed in the realization that this entire issue had no resolution beyond pushing the feelings deep, deep, deep down. 

But when the gang reunited in Miles’ universe and Peter was pulled aside to be told he was missed by a man who didn't even emote at being punched...it shocked him. Peter had no idea what to say, so he said nothing. Maybe he was misreading the situation. But Noir...missed him, missed the pig who stood out against everything around him.

Maybe, just maybe, Porker did not push a damn feeling down, maybe he was too far gone. Maybe.

  
  
  


Noir hoped he could get Porker alone, the best he could do was a corner in Aunt May’s living room, just far away from everybody so he could whisper the words he had been balancing on his tongue for an hour now. He had no idea that saying those three words out loud would make his own heart drop to his stomach in fear. He never felt these emotions so strongly for another person, let alone another man, let alone for a pig from another dimension.

This entire emotion was as new to him as the pink flush that coated the cheeks of the stout pig before him.

‘He’s blushing...did he like what I said.’ Noir didn’t say anything else, he stayed silent wondering what Porker would respond with. He was met with silence, Porker kept his eyes glued to the floor and the silence was full of a feeling Noir couldn't pinpoint. So they stayed quiet until Penny ran between them talking about the device that was supposed to resemble a cell phone, not that Noir even knew what that was, still, he nodded along and tried to soak up her explanation of how the device worked. 

  
  


Noir once again found himself alone with Porker in Aunt May’s house, having opted to stay at her home while Peter B., Miles, Gwen, and Penny went out shopping with their Aunt. Said Aunt decided a special dinner was in order for their surprising and unexpected reunion. Porker claimed to risk drawing too much attention and agreed that it would be best to stay home. So Noir found himself across from the pig who was tapping something onto an electronic typewriter.

“Hey...um…” Noir found his mouth moving on its own accord and had a moment of mild panic, the feeling of their eyes meeting across the empty space between the two couch was nauseating. 

“What?” 

Noir looked down, then up at Ham again, and tried to take a calming breath inwards.

“What’s...uh...with the fancy typewriter?” Noir inquired, lifting a single digit to point at the “typewriter”.

Porker couldn’t hold in the snort that made his shoulders bounce. 

“It’s called a laptop, it’s kinda like an electronic typewriter except I can use the internet.” Ham explained eyes focused on the screen of the laptop. His typing stopped abruptly and Ham looked up locking eyes with Noir once again. “You don't know what the internet is do you?” Ham looked at his computer then back up again.

“No...Penny tried to tell me, something like a whiteboard anybody can write on anonymously.” Noir put the side of his fist against his chin as he recalled Penny’s explanation of the ‘internet’, whatever that truly is.

Porker laughed softly, floppy ears slightly raised, eyes closed and the corners crinkled. Noir felt his gut tighten and he wished so dearly he could shake the sinful feeling away, but he knew he couldn't. He doubted he would ever shake the feeling as long as Porker looked and laughed and sounded the way he did. 

Porker let his giggle fit die down. “I guess that's a way of looking at it, not trying to tease you!” Ham raised his hands and his ears flattened against his head, worrying for a moment that his laughter seemed condescending. 

Noir felt the corners of his mouth turn up, try as he might to keep them down. He knew Ham noticed his smile by the way he lowered his hands and his eyes were drawn to his mouth.

Noir didn’t try to fight the smile anymore. “I definitely didn't feel teased.”

\--------

It had been a week since the ‘Spider-Gang’ had gotten together. 

‘Spider-Gang?’, Noir thought to himself, ‘ What a cute name.’ Noir fiddled with the device Penny had given everybody. He jumped at the sound of the portal opening before him and he took a hesitant step forward. Eyes shut as he stepped through the portal and heard excited cheers of his name from voices all too familiar.

Noir opened his eyes to see his newfound family sitting on the couch in front of him. Try as he might he found his eyes glued to a blotch of pink that stood out against his surroundings. Noir was met with Porkers own stare. 

\-------

Once again the two were left alone while the other went out to the store for the next dinner they were going to eat. 

Rather than using his laptop peter was flipping through his camera, looking at the pictures he had snapped on his free time. He even had a few pictures with a black and white filter on them, embarrassingly he had gotten inspired by Noir and his dimensions colorscheme. He felt the couch shift just slightly and looked up to see Noir trying to discreetly look at his camera screen.

“Somebody is feeling nosy today huh?” Ham gently elbowed Noir in the side, smirking at how flustered that made the man.

Noir felt his cheeks burn at the gesture but the fact that Ham had touched him in some way left his skin tingling all over. “Not trying to be nosy...just curious.”

“If you want you can look, I don't mind.” Porker held out the camera to Noir.

Noir scrolled through silently his expression blank, the silence unnerved Ham, he hoped his black and white pictures didn’t seem ameturish when compared to the photography of his dimension.

Ham cleared his throat and started. “So,” He shifted in his seat, trying to rid his body of the nervous energy,”is it any good?”

Noir was still quiet and then abruptly handed the camera back to Ham, they locked eyes and the seconds felt like hours, like time didn't actually exist and their held breaths might be the last they take.

Ham was the first to break eye contact and look away, his gaze stuck on something else. Noir followed Hams line of vision and was met with the sight of their fingers touching. Their fingers ghosting each other over the screen of the camera. Noir couldn’t keep himself from shaking, a soft tremble in his shoulder, the simple act of his fingers brushing the others made his head spin.

‘His hand, he's so soft...he’s touching me.’ Noir swallowed despite the dry feeling in his mouth, yet he couldn’t swallow the fear, guilt, the feeling of sin that crept through his every nerve.

He yanked his hand away, folding the in his lap, unable to control the shudders that made his hand tremble, like he was ready to collapse like a building set with charges. Ham opened his mouth, Noir could see the hurt plaguing Porkers features from the corner of his eye, a choked off noise came out of Ham like the question had crawled to the back of his throat. Then the front door opened. Excited talking between the group, something about the food and ideas for future meals. The excitement died down as everybody trained their eyes on Noir’s shaking and the tears threatening to spill out of Ham’s eyes.

“So…” Peter B. looked around eyes jumping from place to place, not trying to commit to a single sight but rather scanning the area for an explanation.

Peter didn’t say anything else, rather, he carried the groceries to the kitchen, walking past the pair silently. Everybody else followed, including Ham, leaving Noir alone to deal with the thoughts that paced around his mind.

‘What did I do?’

\-------

Peter Benjamin Parker stepped into the stillness of his apartment, body aching and throbbing all over, trying to keep himself level headed. Just earlier he had to hear his boss talk about the case of a ‘queer’ getting killed. The words of disgust made his brain buzz and his eyes threatened to give away his true feelings. He took off his coat and hat, throwing them onto the coat rack to the right of the front door. He slipped off his loafers and walked through his living room to the kitchen, socks sliding against the wood floors, and reached behind his fridge. He grabbed the flask he hid there and took a long swig.

He felt the tears he held in so dutifully slip down his cheeks, he stopped drinking the bitter whiskey to let out a soft sob. He turned his back to the fridge and let his head fall back against the fridge.

‘What’s wrong with me?’ Noir let his eyes dance across the ceiling, tracing shapes that weren't truly there.

‘Why do I feel this way, I know I’m not the only one but damn it I feel like I am.’ Noir slid down against the fridge until he was sitting. He tipped his head back and finished off the last of the alcohol, throat burning at the offending liquid, body punishing his brain for trying to numb itself. 

Noir let his eyes slide closed, taking a calming breath trying to ignore the swirls of pink and all to familiar laughter his brain set on loop.

‘Why am I like this? Why can’t it just stop.’

\------

Peter Porker shut the door behind him sighing as he did, body tired and mind exhausted, he walked to the couch and collapsed flopping onto his back, eyes shut. His hand still tingled where Noir’s fingers and his own had met. 

‘Why the hell did he pull away so fast? Does he know about…’ Ham opened his eyes and raised the hand that had touched Noirs, looking at his fingers. 

‘There’s no way he could know, no way in hell.’

Yet despite reassuring himself Ham was still scared his own inability to hold himself together was going to ruin his friendship with Noir. Ham sat up and rubbed his eyes roughly in an attempt to rid his mind of the fear that plagued him. He decided to get himself something to eat and walked from the living room to the kitchen on the left through an open doorway. Ham opened the fridge and nothing looked appealing. He let out a huff and shut the fridge door, deciding nothing was good enough he looked into the cabinet next to the fridge. Nothing. Ham spent the next twelve minutes searching his cabinets before sitting on the floor in front of the fridge head in his hands. His elbows rested against his knees, he let out a huff and sat up resting his head against the fridge. He closed his eyes, the black nothingness reminding him of Noir.

‘I have to do something, I cant keep going on in silence, it’s only gonna hurt us both. I just need to get some time alone with him again, that's all.’ Ham opened his eyes, mind made up. He was going to take advantage of the next time they were alone together. He was going to open up, even at the risk of rejection but living without knowing was just as bad. The time he was spending upset and uncertain could be time they could spend together. He had wasted enough time. 

‘I have to do this,for myself ...for us ...for him.’ Ham stood up and stretched, his hunger less important than making sure he was prepared for the next time they were alone.

\-----

Penny finished pulling her coat on, the last to get ready out of all the others. She looked up to Porker and Noir, smiling at the two who looked at her with care in their eyes. “We’ll be back!” She beamed at the two who sat on opposite sides of the couch.

“They know that,it’s not like we’re kidnapping you.” Peter smirked at the huff Penny let out, obviously annoyed with Peter’s sarcasm. 

Noir smiled softly at his friends antics, his heart always felt a little lighter when these breaks came. “Stay safe out there.” The softness of his tone obviously surprised the group since all their heads turned. Penny smiled, shoulders bounced with a soft laugh.

“Of course Pete!”

\-----

Porker looked to the side where Noir was writing something, though he didn't know what, he looked down, not worrying about what he was writing. ‘Alright, here goes nothing. It's now or never.’ Porker took a deep breath and looked over to Noir again, pen still gliding across the page. “So…”

Noir hummed in response, a strange disconnect present in his tone. Ham paid no mind to this, though he took note of it, he wasn’t going to let disinterest stop the progress he intended to make.

“Last time we were alone you uh...pulled away hard.” Peter mentally smacked himself, ‘What a stupid way to start this.’ He rubbed his clammy hands on his dark brown slacks. He had decided maybe he should try to look okay for once.

“The exchange we had,” Noir shut the notebook, placing it and his pen on the coffee table in front of him. “That exchange we had was...wrong. It was abnormal, not proper of men to have that sort of interaction.” Noir kept his gaze low, eyes set on the glass of the coffee table, the ring from a coffee mug without a coaster being the focal point of his gaze.

“Well…” Porker started placing his hand on the couch cushion by his side, smoothing the fabric out,”we aren’t normal are we?” Ham dared to look to Noir, watching for some change in his expression. He was painfully met with silence and an empty stare. Nothing. Porker decided to push,knowing he could outlast Noir’s silence, he had been preparing for this.

“I mean,” Porker stopped to snort, “look at us!” He gestured to himself and then Noir. 

“We aren’t exactly normal, not everybody has spider powers y'know?” Ham scooted closer to Noir but felt his heart drop at the way Noir scooted away like Ham was intolerable to be around.

“Stop this, you fly close to the sun and you get burned.”

Ham pulled back, his stomach lurched, he had no idea what to respond to that with. But he was going to respond, he let the words spill off his tongue, coffee on the table, water on the tile, words floated off his tongues with ease.

“Pigs don’t fly and my name isn’t Icarus. I get that the thirties aren’t-”

“You don’t know a damn thing about the life I live-”

“Listen to me!”

The air was heavy, thick, disgustingly tense, Porker didn't realize was crying till he went to scrub at his eyes. Noir was looking to Ham when the first sob made his body lurch, try as he might Noir couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hams crying face, try as he might he couldn’t catch his hand betraying his mind as it went to rub a tear from Ham’s face.

“Pete...I’m not..I don’t-” Ham started but couldn’t get his bearings, eyes flitting from place to place, trying to look anywhere but the hand Noir left outstretched, equally uncertain of himself.

Noir dropped his hand, letting out a puff of air, not knowing how to respond to the blatant show of emotion from Porker, it was odd.

“Don’t you see how wrong it is?” Noir tried to soften his permanently gruff tone, he didn’t like seeing Ham cry, it made his chest ache, as if his heart was being squeezed in a vice that he couldn't control. Noir jumped at Ham’s sudden laugh, a soft ‘ ha’, as if he didn’t take Noir seriously.

“I don’t see a single thing wrong with the feelings we have. Why hold back? To please people who don’t matter? Who don’t truly care either way.” Ham finally looked at Noir, not realizing Noir’s eyes would be sparkling with tears he refused to release.

“I ain’t trying to die. Not like that. Not because of...this.” He gestured to the space between the two, pointing out the invisible tie between them. 

Ham looked to his right, eyes staring at nothing, a lost look about his features, like he was trying to remember a thought he didn't hold on tight enough.

“Anything you believe in is something worth dying for.” 

The front door opened, nobody truly wanted to say anything but Peter B. found himself talking, despite his desire to ignore the entire situation.

“So we decided on burgers.” 

Gwen punched his arm.

\-----

It had been 4 days since Ham had tried to talk to him, but Noir couldn’t shake what he said, mind constantly flooded with thoughts of the pigs tears and laughter, of when he would smile and the soft ‘pat pat pat’ of his tail wagging. Noir opened the door to the office of the private eye he worked for, trying to find the strength to deal with the day, but when he felt the strongest was when Ham was plaguing his thoughts. It felt wrong to have these thoughts creeping up his spine, whispering the promise of true happiness to him. But for once he couldn't find the energy to fight it.

“Took ya long enough!” Noir looked up from his shoes to see his boss sitting on the wooden table pressed against the wall, mug of coffee next to his thigh. His three other co-workers by the bosses side. Hank, tall, strong, and loud, was standing, foot against the wall. His eyes had always been piercing but today they had an edge about them.

“Y’know that fruit who got the big sleep? Well apparently his damn mom wants us ta find the guy who did it.” Hank scrunched his nose up at the idea.

Noir looked away, silent, trying to find some words to say. His mouth dry he walked to the drawers where the coffee pot was and poured himself a cup.

“Well?” Noirs boss raised an eyebrow at Peters silence, the lack of response unnerving him.

“Don’t really pay no mind to what some gay cat does in his free time, not what I wanna put my mind to.” Noir tried to keep his voice steady as to not give away the fear that was lighting him on fire inside and out, he took a sip of the coffee, trying to do something anything with his body. He finally turned to be met with faces of confusion and disgust. As if he had cursed their names and the names of their kin.

Hank started laughing a soul crushing, mocking, laugh, hands shoved into his pocket he leaned forward, pushing himself off the wall. He strode over to Peter with unparalleled confidence, his steps echoed across the wood floors and bounced around the room and bounced around in Noir’s chest. They finally came face to face and Hank stopped laughing, his features serious. His brow was furrowed, lips drawn tight, and his eyes piercing, trying to read the sins on Peters skin.

“Sounds like something a gay cat 

would say to hide.”

Noir puffed his chest out and raised his chin, trying to remember what confidence felt like. “If I were you I’d stop thinkin’ ‘bout what a gay man does in his time, might find yourself feeling some new urges.” Noir couldn't hold back his grin at the shock on Hanks face. 

“Whatcha tryin’ ta say bout me?” 

Noir rolled his head, trying to ease the tension collecting in his neck. “Look, all I’m sayin’ is maybe, just maybe, you gotta be careful ‘bout whatcha think ‘bout. You put too much time into one thing, and sure you might hate it now, but next thing ya know you might find yourself lookin’ at a friend in a different way.” Noir sipped the coffee in his hand, eyes set on Hanks, who seemed to pale and blush at the same time. Hank took a step back, trying to create distance between the two of them.

“I’m gonna go patrol, have fun with your get together.” Noir strode out, hoping that his coworker didn’t see the shaking of his hand.

\------

Ham looked up at Noir who Had come to his dimension not long ago. Unsure of why, Ham asked Noir how his day was going. Noir was silent for a moment, then the floodgates opened and Noir spilled, told him about Hank, the gay man who had died, how he had never been so scared in such a calm situation. 

“Wait! You did not say that to him!” Ham leaned across the small table they sat at in Hams apartment. Hands slapping against the wood, trying to quell the wagging of his tail, he knew that this wasn’t the right time to get happy. He could tell Noir was scared shitless. His grip had never left the edge of the table and he had a tremble in his voice.

“Unfortunately, I did.” Noir looked up, finally meeting Ham’s gaze. This time, neither of them looked away, and for once Noir didn’t want to. Ham’s eyes were comfortable, sweet, familiar, they held a kindness unknown in his dimension.

He finally understood all those people who thought true love was real, that two people were meant to be together because that was fate. He tried to ignore the voice in the back of his mind shouting, pleading, begging for Noir to get his wits about him, to stop staring or he might turn to stone. But he didn’t break their eye contact, he could feel himself start to smile.

“I don’t think it’s unfortunate.that you said that. I think it was brave of you!” Ham climbed onto the table sitting on it with his legs crossed. He was glowing with happiness, his gaze still locked onto Noirs. 

Noir smiled, only Ham could get away with saying something so sweet without making Noir feel awkward. Even the silence that followed wasn’t awkward. It was peaceful,a moment of held breath, of gazes and smiles, a gentle breeze came in through the kitchen window fluttering the mop Noir called hair.

“Where do we go..from here?”

The suddenness of the question made Ham straightened his posture and raise his eyebrows, he seemed surprised but other than his initial reaction he didn’t let on his shock. 

“Well...depends on what you mean?” 

Noir finally broke the eye contact, his hands gripped his pants, needing to grab onto something, he was sure he would fall apart if he didn’t.

“...I don’t know.”

Ham was left staring but for once he didn’t feel upset at Noir’s lack of honesty, Ham could tell that this wasn’t Noir rejecting himself, he truly didn’t know.

“You don’t have to know yet. You can not know for as long as you need.” 

Noir glanced up, fear planting itself in his heart like a stake. 

“Hey, let's forget all that noise and watch something, wanna watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” 

In the end, Noir felt happy, the fear falling from his chest and he felt himself stuck to the screen, laughing at the cartoonish antics and interested in the detective plot, granted he saw the ending coming a mile away.

By the end of the movie he could safely say that his day wasn’t a total loss, that he was safe from judgement by Ham’s side, that he was the last person to judge Noir. That maybe he was going to be okay for right now.

\-----

  
  
  


Noir jolted awake, the images of blood splattered across a cutting board, a butchers knife, cries of pain echoing in his sleep deprived mind. Sleep never came easy with the recurrent nightmares he’s had for years but this one scared him to the core. He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the dimensional hopper and switched to the messaging mode. He stared at the image of Porker for a moment before closing the app. 

‘He doesn’t need to bother with me, I’m a grown man I just gotta suck it up.’

He flopped back down rolling onto his stomaching and waited for sleep to come. The moon slept before he did and he watched the sunlight filter through his window blinds.

‘Today is gonna drag on forever.’

Noir found himself walking into the office before he could truly shake himself awake, between the deliriousness from exhaustion he had dressed himself at some point. He opened the door and was greeted with eyes on him.

His boss had this odd look about him, as if he wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure.

“So,” Hank started, eyes tracing his body up and down.

“So?”

“How’s your boyfriend?” Noir looked to Hank, he didn’t have the usual shit eating grin, he seemed to be genuinely asking.

“I don’t swing like that.” Noir went to the desk in the corner farthest from the door, the one he claimed for himself, wanting to be distanced from even his own coworkers.

“Well...you definitely aint like other guys, so I got to thinking that maybe you did.” Hank pulled a chair up and sat in front of Noirs desk, chair backwards and arms handing over the back.

“You need to think less.”

Hank watched Noir in silence for a moment, before he let out a huff and stood up.

“Just don’t bring that shit ‘round me.” Noir couldn't help but chuckle, amused by how obsessed Hank was with gay people. 

“Right back at you Hank.”

\------

Another break, another shopping trip, another moment alone with Ham, who was typing on that typewr- laptop again.

“So…”

Noir looked up.

“So?”

“So how’s work?”

Noir blinked a few times, what was Noir supposed to say, annoying? The usual hell?

“Uh...fine.” Noir picked at his pants for a moment, wishing he knew what to say but he was at a loss, did Ham want to know or did he want to open the conversation for another reason?

“Just wonder what the deal was with that guy...Hugh?”

“Hank”

“That guy.”

Noir couldn’t hold back a smile, thinking about how weird Hank was making the rest of the office feel.

“He keeps calling me gay, keeps asking if I am, keeps rambling ‘bout ‘em.” Noir softly laughed about Hank asking the others in the office if they knew any gay men, to which nobdy replied, how could they?

“Wow...compensating much?” Ham closed the laptop and put it on the couch next to him. “Did you say you were?” Ham brought his knees to his chest, looking to Noir, ears raised slightly.

“No. I said I wasn’t.” Noir looked down to the floor, eyes averted. Was he supposed to? No, that was a dangerous move. Was he actually gay anyways?

“I haven’t told any of my coworkers. It isn’t their business.” Noir looked up to see Ham was looking down too, he was curled in on himself, what was bothering him?

“Exactly, they don’t need to know that about...about us.”

Ham eyes moved to look at Noir, scanning him for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Noir straightened his posture a bit more. 

“So you admit it?”

Noir felt his blood run cold, was that an admission of sin? Was it too late to go back on his words, was it already too long, had he thought too long, was it too late to go back on-

“You don’t have to say anything,I can tell you’re a bit scared by this whole…”

“I think I am.”

For once, his admission of guilt didn’t feel like a death sentence in the making.

And for once the front door opening didn’t bother him, as much as his honesty was relieving it also left his stomach in a string of knots. He welcomed the group of friends happily, not sure of why he felt a soft happiness in his heart.

\---------

Later that night Peter Porker sat awake, sleep taunting him, his mind keeping him from finally getting some sleep. Try as he might his mind wouldn’t stop reminding him of what Noir had said earlier.

‘‘I think I am’...I have a chance… I might truly have a chance.’ Porker rolled onto his side looking out his window at the sky, stars glittering from the atmospheric bend.

‘Wonder what he’s up to’

\------

Noir was no different from Porker, thoughts replaying what he had said earlier, once he had arrived in his dimension he had laid down on his bed and hadn't gotten up. Guilt planting its feet, firmly rooting itself in his gut, stomping down the flickering embers that were happiness just hours earlier. 

‘I can’t do this...I can’t stay broken like this...I can't just accept myself for me when...when’

He didn’t dare finish that thought, admitting it to himself meant it was real, but he didn't want this to be real. He wanted to wake up, let all this be a dream. But he didn’t wake up, he fell asleep in fear, repulsed by his own uncontrollable desire to be held and to hold another. He wouldn’t dare name who.

But his dreams did dare to admit it, laughter echoing through a kitchen as he cooked with Peter, tail wagging and singing to a song he couldn’t place. The first time Noir didn’t have a nightmare in years. Even in his sleep he knew he was smiling.

\--------

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5000 words for a single chapter, maybe I'm an overachiever....maybe  
Can't wait for these two to finally get together!


	2. Question? Answer.

It was a month of stagnation, of nothing, of no more progress, just longing stares and fingers brushing in silence. Not to say Ham was unhappy, no he was very happy, it wasn’t that long ago that Noir could barely look at Ham. Progress is progress and it showed in the way Noir gently rubbed his thumb across the back of Ham’s hand.  
Like right now, sitting eating dinner with the rest of the spider fam. Ham could feel Noirs knee knocking into his gently, leading Porker to reciprocate. It was moments like this that Porker lived for, friends on all sides, a distraction from the struggles of the outside world. Moments of escape, breaths between the struggle, peace. It was in this moment that Porker realized he would be happy spending everyday in this peaceful atmosphere, but he wanted to do it with Noir by his side, wanted for Noir to be his. Porker knew he wanted to date Noir but in this moment, it wasn’t the desire to date, he wanted to be with Noir. But he was patient, so for now, the nudge of Noir’s knee against his own would be enough.

\------

Noir sat, typing up a formal report for a recent case he worked on with Hank, mostly distracted by how his knee still tingled from bumping his against Hams. He knew it was downright childish but he couldn't muster the courage for anything more, but those nights spent eating with the family always left him feeling well, so he let his playful affections exist without ridicule.  
“Peter!” Noir couldn’t hide how he jumped at being called so suddenly. He looked up and watched Hank cross the room, face blank and eyes averted.  
‘Oh Lord what now?’ Noir tried to look neutral on the outside despite the fact that Hank was becoming increasingly annoying.  
“So...I need to talk with you. Nothing work related, quite frankly I don’t give a damn about this case we worked.” Hank rolled his eyes, seemingly bored just thinking about the case. Noir found it quite interesting on the other hand, a series of disappearances where the only link was their habits and a tight knit friend group that intertwined Nothing more was able to found, but three of the seven are confirmed homosexuals. This left Noir on edge, not that he had even admit to himself that he had an affinity for men...not fully at least.  
“Peter? You listening?”  
Noir looked up,realizing he had been silent and hadn’t said anything at all, he probably looked bored too.  
“Ah...right, sorry, we’ll talk after work,yeah?” Noir rubbed his palms against his slacks, trying to still his nerves, oddly scared for some reason.

\-----  
Work came and left, the stress of the day falling from his shoulders as he walked out the private eye office. Only for stress to rest firmly on his shoulder and give a boisterous ‘Hey!’.  
Noir turned to see Hank smiling but his eyes held something more than joy, was it fear? Anxiety? Noir flashed a lopsided smile back, unable to commit to anything more.  
“Didn’t forget about me did ya’?” Hank let go of Peters shoulder and in place gave him a playful jab.  
Noir laughed softly, trying to find it in himself to play along and be like Hank, he jabbed Hank back slightly harder than Hank had.  
“Can’t do that, you wouldn’t even let me.”  
Hank laughed, letting out a snort that reminded Noir of Ham.  
“Ah shaddap!” Hank gave Noir a shove and then grabbed his wrist. Noir jumped at the sudden gesture that was a bit more soft than the last. “Lets chat..yeah?”

\-------

The two found an empty alleyway to talk in, closed off from the rest of the world, the echoes of Brooklyn in the distance, crying out for attention from the two. Noir stood in wait, Hank shifting from foot to foot, uncertainty plaguing his every movement.  
“So…” Noir leaned back against the brick wall, the solid and jagged wall acting as an anchor to reality.  
“So what?” Hank mimicked Noir and leaned back against the wall opposite of Peter.  
“You said you wanted to talk, so…” Noir cocked an eyebrow at Hank who was scowling at the ground, though Noir could sense that it was anger, it was something else. Noir couldn’t exactly place what was wrong with Hank, but he was sure that it would come out. The two fell into silence, quiet and unmoving.  
“You don’t have a boyfriend.”  
Noir looked up and was met with Hanks intense stare, they held their gaze for a while before Noir looked down.  
“What is this about Hank?” Noir shoved his thumbs into his pocket. He was starting to get antsy, despite the calm exterior he tried to keep.  
“How does somebody know that's what they want?” Hank seemed to become scared, he started glancing around, fists tight at his side.  
“You just know, it’s this feeling deep in your chest.” Noir began, eyes closed thinking about Ham, about how close he felt, how he could never admit to how he felt, no...that made it real. “You feel this happy tingle all through your body, you feel unstoppable yet so so very vulnerable.” Noir opened his eyes staring at the ground with a smile. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. He was saying this out loud, to Hank, to somebody. Noir looked up and locked eyes with Hank, the silence thick enough for Noir to snatch out of the air.  
“I see…” Hank seemed to mull over what Peter had said, unaware the man's fear that was gripping his throat. Noir felt sweat beading on the back of his neck, his chest tight, like his lungs weren’t built for air.  
“I should get going.” Noir didn’t wait for any response from Hank. He walked out of the ally and let his feet carry him home, his shoulders hunched and his back tight. He had said way too much to Hank, a man Noir didn’t even know if he could trust. The thought made his gut twist. But he refused to let the panic overtake him, he was stronger than that.

\------

When he finally entered his apartment he decided that, no, he wasn’t very strong. He collapsed against the front door once he shut and locked it, his own eyes shut just as tightly. He tried to find his nerve to get up, which took longer than he would like to admit. He rummaged through the kitchen drawer closest to the fridge and pulled out his dimensional hopper. He didn’t ask before he created a portal to Porkers world and stepped in. He didn’t know what he was going to talk about but he needed the company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short, I just wanted to put out any kind of update.
> 
> Kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscriptions, and shares are all great but not necessary, I just hope you enjoy the ride i want this story to be!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, Kudos, and Shares appreciated! They aren't necessary though, I just love writing!


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